Poor dog...

The most exciting thing that has been happening in my life in the past months is most certainly my job. It is what I obviously spend most of my time with, and what occupies my mind even when I get home in the evening. And even though I have been working in this new field for over eight months now, moving around in a field that is not 100% familiar is extremely tiring. It reminds me a bit of the time when I first moved to the states, and how just speaking english all day would tire me out. Every word I said would have to be translated in my head and thought through before being released, which was a lot more work than just blabbing something out.
Anyway - bottom line, I come home from work at night and I am pooped;... happy, but pooped.
So, the other evening was just another on of those days where I basically crashed on the sofa as soon as I came back home, while doing a "Nip- Tuck" marathon (which - we just got into and is a GREAT show!!!) Here I was, dosing off, when Kitry decited that it was time for her to visit the back yard. Half asleep I followed her to the door, opened it and let her and Fiby out. Kitry generally only goes out to do her thing - Fiby, on the other hand, LOVES to spend time there. She is in and out of the bushes, hunts for squirrels, birds and cats, runs, leaps and barks as her heart desires. After a few minutes both were back at the door, but when I opened it to let them back inside, Fiby realized that there might be more animals to hang out with and ran back into the greenery. I'm gonna be honest... I was mad. I was tired, wanted to go back to my beloved sofa, cover up and pass out. I as around 11PM, and I was not in the mood to be reminded of how useless our training was when calling "come here", which only causes her to look over her shoulder at best. I closed the door with the words "then stay outside, you little tramp" (which is her nickname) and went back to the living room. On my way there I told myself to let Manolo know that our little one is still outside, but at my state of exhaustion I must have forgotten by the time I was back on the couch.
So - about an hour and a half later I woke up from Manolo laughing like a crazy person, and here is his side of the story.
In our neighborhood it is quite common to hear dogs bark; too many irresponsible dog-owners who let their dogs run free at all hours of the day and night. So - for the fist 15 minutes he was not too concerned when this poor dog started barking at half past eleven. Half an hour into the noise he started getting a little irritated, and when the barking wouldn't let up an hour later he started losing it. "The poor dog... damn those dog owners... idiot neighbors..." Another ten minutes later he went online to find the number for animal control - knowing that there is this particular little dog around the corner that is in desperate need of help. Finally - as he was scrambling around to act on behalf of the poor little pooch that must be freezing cold, possibly hungry and certainly not supposed to be outside, he realized that THAT poor little dog was Fiby.
The little thing was on the back steps FOREVER, trying to get our attention, while I was sleeping like an angel and Manolo was about to call animal control... ON US.
In any case... I have always heard about stories of parents accidently leaving their kids at home, or driving off a supermarket parking lot whithout their child... and I have found a new understanding for it. The mind is an amazing thing - a thing that does not work worth a damn if you're tired.
But I made up for it... sort of; Fiby and I spent the rest of the evening cuddled up on the sofa, wrapped in blankets. She also doesn't run away anymore when I open the door to let her back inside, which is a safe thing to do. But the guilt of neglecting a child is deep, and I have never felt less like a fit parent. No cookie, no toy and no belly-rub can let me live down the fact that I left my daughter outside in the winter in the middle of the night.