Public arguments

In many ways we are very lucky with the location of our house. The nicest thing about the surroundings to me is that behind our back yard there is a big lawn that belongs to the church we are next to. It really makes for a nice view and a somewhat open feel when stepping out the back door. Also - it means that we only have two direct neighbors, where without the church lawn we would probably have three.
Past the church grounds is another street, lined by houses on the far side from our position. So, one would think that this is the one direction we would NOT have any issues with. Well... think again.
There are two houses past our yard, past the church grounds and across the street, where the families feel the urge to turn any issue into a live version of a reality TV show. At first I found their loudness quite entertaining and interesting. People were kicked out, young adults were forbidden to come back home, they publicly screamed about their drug using- and selling habits, called each other whores and bitches left and right and made sure the entire area would hear it all. I would literally go into the yard, smoke a cigarette and just watch the arguments unfold. I was hooked.
But you know what? It's enough, and just like with a lot of reality TV shows that raised some interest in the beginning, the novelty wore off quickly. What is left is this annoying knowledge that, while I don't choose to tune in anymore, it is still all around and hard to avoid completely.
Last week one of the women was screaming at her kids (maybe 3-5-7 years old) for about 25 minutes without stopping, using every nasty word known to man, pushing, pulling an slapping the children, whose screaming got increasingly louder as the mother got increasingly violent. After a while, the neighbor joined in, and from there on it all just turned into a big screaming match that would not end.
I wanted to ask my neighbors to turn up their salsa music that I have complained about last month. But hey - I'll take "Besame mucho" anytime, if "get the f*** into this f***ing house, you little son of a bi***" is the alternative!
Frankly; I don't give a damn about the way these people choose to live their lives. I feel sorry for the kids, and one day I will call child services on them, but generally I can simply not relate to the situation. I don't have kids, and I think it is not my job to tell people how to raise theirs.
What I DO give a damn about though, are my evenings and weekends, and I find it just amazing that those people feel they have the right to force their bullshit on everyone in the area.
Now - I hate to bring up gay issues again - especially since I just posted a gay- themed piece in which I mentioned that I am "not big on the gay awareness thing". Well... I think I am growing into it! When politicians, religious leaders or regular "conservatives" explain their anti gay theories by using "family values" as their argument, are they including "valuable" families like the one across the church lawn? Because let me tell you: If that is part of their "family values", then I am damn glad not to fit anywhere near that category. Clearly I am not talking about just one family I happen to be exposed to. We have all seen them in the Supermarkets, Malls, walking down the street or sitting on their porches letting the whole world be part of their disrespectful ways. That means that I am not talking about one singled out screwed up family, but about something that happens all around us, and that somehow has become OK.
Obviously I have given this whole thing some thought, and am more than tired of the constant abuse and drama going on while I try to relax in my very "zen" back yard. (Ohh; by the way: my water fountain is running again - just had to throw that in). Unfortunately my daily walk with Kitry and Fiby leads me right past the two houses I am talking about, and I always try to go past them as quickly as possible. After all - they might have seen me watching their "show" for a while, since they have the same clear view of us, as we have of them. So here I was, minding my own business, when the..."Lady residing in the property I am concerned with" (see how I try to watch my language!?) said "Heeelloo" - clearly directing her gaze at Fiby who is wagging her tail at anybody, and speaking with a voice that is very clearly defined as "puppy talk". I looked at Fiby, looked up at the "Lady" who was on her porch, put on my "proud father smile", nodded and kept walking. So she screamed after us: "Hello to you, TOO!!!", and as if I was twelve years old and just called on bad behavior by my 5th grade teacher, I stopped and said "Hello" back.
As I kept walking I started getting furious. So what? - Now I am the one with bad manners?????????? I am now lectured on manners by HER???
I am mostly pissed at myslef for not turning around and confronting her. But frankly, I am a little chicken sh** when it comes to dealing with people who obviously have violent tendencies, anger management issues and are involved in the kind of drugs they are under and argue over. So I walked and said nothing.
Anyway; just today I was reading "trentonkat's" blog and saw that she said something I want to point out here as well.
We keep defending our neighborhood with things like "It is not so bad for Trenton", or "Well... we are living in a city after all...", and I am getting really tired of it. I also hate to say that we obviously don't live in a great area, and can therefor not expect any more than what it is. But then where does that end? We also happen to live in an area where people get robbed, mugged shot and stabbed, and I guess if that was to happen to me I would have to say that... we just don't live in a great area and I can therefor not expect any more than what it is!? I don't think so.
I usually like to end my little posts with a thought or an idea of what I think could be a possible solution to my issues (even if I am being silly about what a solution could look like), but with this one I am kinda at my wit's end. People have the right to live their lives the way they think is appropriate - and it is very difficult to define "appropriate" when talking to people who have their very own idea of it. And if somebody has always been exposed to being called a "bitch" and calling your kids "little f***ers, and getting beat up and beating others up and screaming at each other and being screamed at and doing drugs, selling drugs, buying drugs, being kicked out and kicking others out and screaming some more, then obviously those people see nothing wrong with any of it. I imagine if they did, they would make an effort to stop it and find a different way of functioning in society. So who am I to tell them "you are wrong"? - even if that is exactly what I think is the case. Again - I am not preaching for people to get along. Fight all you want, knock each other silly and have at it. I really don't care. Just do it where it only involves YOU. There are no laws (that I know of) that would prohibit people from arguing on the street. But there IS a little thing called RESPECT. You know... this thing we like to have for people we share this planet with!? Rings a bell?
Anyway. Enough for today.